Even the best relationships can fall off track. If you’re with the right person, in the wrong relationship, then keep reading to find out how to get back on track. Male Standard is revealing the three steps you need to take to improve any relationship, especially if you need to move on from a conflict. In this article, a conflict could be an argument, an opinion, or an event. The point is that each of these conflicts can be resolved using these techniques so long as you and your partner want to move on together. If your partner does not truly want to move on, then nothing you say or do will make a difference.
Step 1. Commit to Saving Your Relationship
It may sound obvious, but there is often no definitive point of conflict in a failing relationship. It slips away slowly before our eyes. By committing to saving your relationship, you face the elephant in the room. Sometimes this is enough to get the relationship on track. If it isn’t, it’s a great place to start. By taking a stance together, unity will create those missing feelings of solidarity and bonding that we crave during a disagreement, which kickstarts the healing process.
What to do: During a peaceful time (do not use this technique during a fight), ask your partner if you can talk to them about something that is meaningful to you. By avoiding asking to ‘have the talk,’ you prevent them from becoming defensive. When they agree, use positive language and tell them how much they mean to you and why you want to save your relationship. Do not discuss problems, even if they ask. Simply let them know that conversation will come soon.
Step 2. Create Emotional Balance
During times of conflict, our emotional wellbeing is in jeopardy as there is an imbalance. This imbalance causes us to move in different directions, rather than in the same direction. Rather than trying to resolve the specific problem, look beyond and seek balance in other areas of your relationship. By building harmony, you create a waterfall of happiness that overflows into the areas of conflict. If you try to tackle the problem head on, you will become frustrated and focus on the negative.
What to do: Resist the urge to discuss the problem. As you have committed to the relationship, you should forgive and forget what it is that is causing the conflict. Instead, focus on positive aspects of your relationship and the reason you want to stay together, and take the time to tell each other often what these are. Compliment your partner at least once a day and ask them to do the same. This mindful use of time reduces emotional friction and feels great!
Step 3. Prevent Future Problems
Rather than focusing on any one problem, you should be focusing on how to make your partner feel good at all times. If you do this, and they commit to doing the same, problems resolve themselves. Yes, it takes effort, but so does fighting. Emotional conflict is draining and will eventually end the relationship. If, instead, you focus your energy into positive efforts, you will be rewarded with emotional energy that you can use in all aspects of your relationship, such during a time of passion or affection.
What to do: Build a relationship with the same determination and desire you felt when dating. The number one complaint from any couple is that after time, they feel underappreciated. When you show appreciation, your partner does not take action that can hurt your relationship. In fact, any previous damage is actually erased. This is thanks to oxytocin, the bonding hormone, which is released when we feel good. By creating wonderful memories, you flood their senses and remove conflict altogether.
However you decide to save your relationship is ultimately the right thing to do, so long as you are in a loving and nurturing relationship based on respect. Please note: these techniques will not work on someone who is not loving or committed to the relationship.