Players aren’t just guys anymore, and they aren’t just hip-hop vixens shaking their booties at the club. From Indie Chick to Gangster Bitch, female players come in all shapes, sizes, and incarnations. Look for these signs before falling for a player and getting played harder than a Wii after Christmas.

Okay, so there’s no way in hell a Jewish girl would be caught dead in a sweatband, but you get the point. How do you, a nice non-Jewish boy like yourself catch the heart, brain, and panties of said Jewish goddess?