Ok, I am just going to go out on a limb and say it: Communication.

Yes, yes, that dirty little word that you have read from Fran’s articles, just this time, and it’s not in the bedroom.

I know this may surprise you, although I sure hope not … women actually think with only one head and therefore can actually think without their genitals getting in the way. Amazing, I know.

Now, I know there are the exceptions (cough, cough, Fran), who are 100% female to the core and have total penis envy. I am sorry to disclose this, but most of us do not. If you really like, love, want your relationship and girl to be happy, then communication is a skill you need to possess.

Here are a few tips:

  1. Most women want to have an emotional connection with you first. Guess what guys? We can have sex with anyone too…. We cannot however, have a personal relationship/connection with just anyone. So my suggestions … work on it, if you want us to work. This communication is “foreplay” for us. If you make an effort to have conversations and take legitimate interest in your girl, I promise it will pay off in the physical sense too. Do not pacify us though, we will see through it.
  2. Now, I know this is going to be a challenge for most guys… sometimes we just want you to listen. You don’t need to fix it, I know it is in your nature to want to fix things – we don’t want this. Most of the time we know how to fix it, we may just not want to. I know this makes absolutely no sense to most of you, but it doesn’t need to. There are substantial differences between men and women and this is one of them. Listen, don’t fix. I promise we will ask for advice if we need it. We are not like you – we will stop for directions.
  3. I think it is important to have differences, likes and dislikes. Both individuals in the relationship should have a life outside of their significant other. Encourage and promote your girlfriend, wife, etc., in her extra endeavors. Take a wanted interest and she will likely do the same for you. Like each other’s friends better and be more trusting when you want to go and do your “hobby” without her. We should balance one another out, not blur the lines of where one stops and other begins. I don’t know about you, but one of me is enough, there’s no way I’d want two. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to communicate that your interests are important to you too.
  4. Relationships evolve. Trust me; we’d all like it if the initial ‘dating’ part lasted forever, before we knew all of each other’s deep, dark secrets. It’s more exciting for us too. But if you are in it for the long haul, you are going to have ups and downs, physically and mentally. If you do not have communication at the core of the relationship, one day you are going to wake up and have no idea who is lying beside you.

1 comment

  1. I am impressed. You spoke of some of the key points for men to having a successful relationship. “You don’t need to fix it” is so true. As men we instinctually want to fix things. That is a good trait, but not always to deepening a relationship.

    We need to be careful not to lose our maleness in an attempt to be more sensitive. Your point about not to “blur the lines of where one stops and other begins” speaks to our need to live a purposeful life. What makes us uniquely masculine is our focus on our purpose outside our relationship. We need that or we start to resent the relationship and she starts to lose respect for us.

    Thanks for writing this.

    Owen

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