I’ll begin by reminding everyone that there are exceptions to every rule, nothing is black and white and that no one is perfect. With that said, I’ve dated a lot of different women and am only trying to give my fellow males something to think about when choosing who to date.

Men and women alike, for the most part, will put on their best face when people start dating. It’s natural, when you are attracted to someone, to want to give a good first impression. This can go on for months or even years, which is why I believe rushing into a serious relationship is never good. You can’t truly say you know someone after a few short months. Hell, I don’t think we can ever truly know someone all together, but the longer you wait to pop the question, the better.

But because I’ve dated a great number of women, I’ve noticed certain characteristics that make it easier for me to spot women that are less likely to make good mates for men that know the deeper a woman’s insecurities, the more likely the relationship will fail. Being able to spot these personality traits in women can make dating a lot more enjoyable.

Some personality traits are givens, right? Possessiveness, neediness and desperation would be my top three. Sometimes you can spot these traits right off the bat and sometimes it takes a while, but the moment you spot them and know they aren’t just having a bad day, most experienced men will run.

But there are a couple of traits that are subtler and are harder to spot until a woman becomes comfortable with you. So let’s focus on those.

Overly “Shy” or “Quiet”

Watch out for overly “shy” or “quiet” women. Oh, they’ll come up with all kinds of reasons for being shy but the bottom line is if the woman you are seeing is too quiet, there’s a reason for it that will eventually drive you crazy. Being shy is usually the result of insecurity.

Everyone has insecurities…everyone, but it’s how you handle and overcome them that is important. If those insecurities manifest themselves in shyness, it’s likely (note “likely”, not “a certainty”) that they have more insecurities than the average woman. Most problems that arise in relationships are due to the insecurities of the players so you’re starting a relationship with someone that is going to probably begin letting those insecurities show about the time she thinks she has you hooked.

Everyone likes a certain amount of attention, but some more than others. Shy people are usually attention-whores in sheep’s clothing.

Need Constant Attention

The other trait I would tell you then to look out for is attention whores. Some are shy about it and some aren’t. Whether they are overly shy or loud, attention-whores are people that need your constant affirmation. The louder ones will be more obvious. But if a woman is truly ok with herself and happy being herself, she won’t need your constant attention.

I know women that will freak out if they don’t know where their man is at all times. I know women that will post picture after picture of themselves on the internet. Why? Why would someone feel the need to post essentially the same picture in different clothes every other day? Because they know that when they do, at least one desperate male will comment something to give them the affirmation they crave because men are visually stimulated more than women are..and, let’s face it, even less attractive females are attractive to someone and women know this. But what I see is women that don’t feel comfortable in their own skin so they post and post pictures so they can get that attention. If a woman is truly good looking and knows it, she wouldn’t feel that need. Women confident in their beauty don’t need to fish for compliments constantly.

Pretenders

But the women you really need to watch out for are the ones who change depending on the setting. I know women that are shy in real life but use the internet to pretend to be something they aren’t. In fact, it’s almost an epidemic online. Using the internet to get that affirmation they need, pretending to be outgoing when in reality they can’t look you in the eyes in person, is a huge red flag.

Find a woman that will be herself and is secure enough with herself that no matter where she is or what she is doing, she doesn’t seem to need constant attention.

I’ve met women that are really beautiful on the outside but once you witness their attention-craving behavior become less attractive. Needing constant affirmation diminishes their beauty somehow. Try to find a woman that realizes she is beautiful and doesn’t desperately reach for your confirmation, because those women, and that confidence level, are extremely sexy and make much better partners in the long run.

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