Lord Byron, an English poet of the late 18th century, had a well-documented life because unlike most artists throughout history, his work was famous in his lifetime. And that lifetime was very short as he died of tuberculosis at the age of 23. However, before he died, he was rumored to have slept with over 3,000 women. So how did my historical friend accomplish this?

He treated everyone as equals, whether male or female, which at the time was very rare. “I do detest everything which is not perfectly mutual,” he was famous for saying. Byron knew what every man should know about women. That if you treat them as an equal, a partner rather than a possession, you have a much better chance of turning them on.

On the flip side, every single woman I’ve ever met says she is independent but if I had to pick a number, I’d say only about ten percent really are independent. They all like to tote the independence flag, but if you want an equal, you need to find a woman in that ten percent. Its impossible to treat a woman as an equal when she’s dependent on the man she is with. If you partner with a woman that has you paying for everything, how can you possibly view her as an equal?

Independence isn’t a state of mind, but rather a repetition of actions that result from a state of mind. Saying one is independent means nothing without the actions behind it and with the actions, comes no need then to say it. You either are or you aren’t, but saying it won’t make it so. And let’s face it, most women’s idea of what ‘independent’ means is about as close to that definition as I am to not drinking beer ever again (I’m never going to stop drinking beer so that was sarcasm).

It’s on every girl’s profile on any dating site you look at. “Independent and sassy, I can be a bitch when I want to be, but hey, I’m hot so it shouldn’t matter.”

Oh, little girl, yes, yes it does. Maybe not for most men, but for this one, you bet your sweet ass it does. And while we’re on the subject of your ass, its great and all but you can pay for those overpriced jeans that you think make it look smaller.

As men, we are also guilty of encouraging women to be dependent. If a man allows his woman to claim she’s independent but meanwhile he is paying for everything, he’s a dumbass and part of the problem.

A woman isn’t independent if she can’t go at least a few months between serious relationships. Most women who do this will tell you its because they “deserve a man,” but it’s really because they are too scared to be without or need a man. Whether the reason is for security or profit, it varies, but either way, that’s not independence.

I don’t know how to stress this enough…Independence is predicated on what we do; it isn’t just something we think we are and it isn’t something we say we are. Since it is so rare these days, there is no need to say anything. Just be.

And let me say this one more time: There is nothing more sexy than a truly independent woman. Why? Because when you meet one, you know they are with you because they want to be, not because they need to be and THAT, my friends, is worth its weight in romantic gold.

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