Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am not a pimp. I am not pimp of the year or a “returning mack” like Dru Down and Mark Morrison sang about. What I am, is someone who has been around enough times and garnered enough successes and failures to think I know what I’m writing about.

Game exists. It’s real. It is the reason Gerard Butler never stops smiling. It is the reason some guys tear through bars and nightclubs like a Tasmanian devil while other guys stand against the walls and watch. It’s not something you learn from a book or movie. It’s truly irrelevant what you drive, what you wear, where you live or how much money you have. Game is one thing, pure and simple, it is CONFIDENCE.

The thing about confidence is it is kind of like a shield of armor that doesn’t allow much to penetrate. It gives someone the ability to walk into a bar feeling like they own the joint. It straightens posture and broadens the shoulders when they approach their prey. It makes the conversation flow effortlessly (not forced), because they’re just being themselves, confidently. And, just as important as everything leading up to that point, it gives them the ability to handle rejection.

Game isn’t going to make you bat a thousand. Game is going to give you a higher batting average and make strikeouts easy to forget. Sometimes all it takes is one hook up or score to send that confidence rocketing like fireworks. But beware– if that stray, raw game isn’t somewhat honed, it may turn into something ugly.

There is a fine line between being confident and cocky. Fortunately for those oblivious asses, some girls fail to see it. If you don’t hone confidence or your game, the result can be a metamorphosis into arrogant prick status. Most chicks don’t dig it, but seemingly some still do. It’s the confidence they are still attracted to, the game, even despite all the ugly ornaments hanging from its tree.

Confidence means being unafraid of showing fallibility and humility, whether real or feigned. Some guys mistake showing fallibility as a sign of weakness, a kink in the armor. It’s not. Showing a human side is the cool stripe down the red race car tearing down the track. It is the decorative artwork balancing out the supercharged engine under the hood, and it is visually appealing.

No one can give you confidence just as no one can give you game. Everyone has to find it on their own. The only thing you can be told is that the easiest, quickest way to find it is by just being yourself. No games, no bullshit. The more you get comfortable in your own skin, the more your confidence grows. You learn what you can handle and you learn what you cannot. Eventually, you learn you won’t bat a thousand but that is okay. Why? Because it doesn’t take anything away from whom you are. You still know who you are, and you move on to finding someone who wants to know you too.

1 comment

  1. Guys who build confidence learning how to talk to women from books and friends usually are the ones who cross that line from confident to cocky because they can’t naturally “feel” out the conversation..and what a thin line it is! Awesome article charles!

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