We all fight … it is inevitable. No relationship is filled with hot sex, great conversation, and limitless fun all the time (at least once you get past the honeymoon stage). It is just not possible. And if you think it is, I would love for you to write in and tell me about it because, I want to know your secret!
From a female perspective there is nothing more frustrating than having the same fight over, and over again. I am confident you will agree with that statement. Women do nag, I am certainly not going to deny it but, I’d be willing to bet that most of the nagging is repetitive of something we have talked about before.
Regardless, I think the best way to look at it is that marriage, dating, and relationships in general are a war and fights are the battles. We need to pick our battles, because in the end it is about winning the war with our relationship in tact. If that is what you want of course. (We all hope for the peace treaty, but let’s get real … women and men are far too opinionated to sit idly by).
Here Are The Rules
Rule No. 1: Think before you react. Spewing hurtful comments at each other can never be taken back. They will haunt you forever! Do not set yourself up for that despite the fact that your partner may do it. Their ego obviously supersedes their logic.
Rule No. 2: Timing is everything. Be understanding to the situation at hand. Life is stressful, so if one of you is already stressed, your fight at the wrong time will create a war. Wait until you are both in the right mindset.
Rule No. 3: The battle does not need to be about winning vs. losing. In fact, if you have this thought, you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all. Disagreements should ultimately be about compromise.
Rule No. 4: Listen to each other. Try and recognize the other’s position. This doesn’t mean stating fine, and moving on. For women, a “fine” means nothing! We only want to know you “heard” us. I know we are very confusing when we start talking; we share way too much that is sometimes an overload for you. Ask your girl to just get to the point, be simple and precise in what she is asking. It may surprise her, but I get what you need and I am sure she will catch on.
My little trick: Try to remove the word “you” from each of your sentences and instead use “I.” It will make your significant other feel less defensive. Good luck!