It’s time to be straight up: no matter how much you want, wish, even pray… the perfect girl is just not going to get thrown at you like some offering from the Sun Gods for good behavior. “It’s not fair!” you protest. “I deserve this! I’m a great guy, and I’ve been looking for so long! What is it that I’m missing?” Don’t be discouraged, friend. I’m sure you are a great guy, really, but I am here to provide some steps you may want to consider taking on your next quest in the seemingly never-ending search for the rare and exotic creature called ‘Girlfriend’.
First things first – and I hope this is something you have already done and this part is totally irrelevant to you – you have to actually meet girls, the kind you’re interested in, the kind you might possibly want to take on dates. This doesn’t mean go to a bar and spin in a circle with your eyes closed and stop, deciding that that’s the girl for you, let’s go get her number! This means get involved. Join social clubs and activities, take a class in something that interests you, volunteer for something you’re passionate about… and if all else fails, try www.meetup.com. It’s a place for people to find other people with common interests, and meet up and discuss and partake in those common interests. It’s actually pretty cool, and it’s a pretty cool way to meet pretty (and cool) girls.
A few personality traits you may want to consider developing if they don’t come naturally to you: ambition, compassion, independence, assertiveness, and confidence. A few qualities you may want to tone down a bit if others have brought them to your attention before: neediness, arrogance, and self-consciousness.
On to the seduction. One of the number one things women said got them interested was men showing that they cared, even before they started dating. From grabbing her arm to keep her from stepping into a pot-hole to taking her to the emergency room when her stiletto snaps off and she breaks her ankle (from experience, this sucks) – be a gentleman and show you care. Don’t be her servant, but definitely be there if she needs you. If you’ve had a few conversations, make note of small details, like the things she likes, hobbies, her favored cuisine, taste in music, and so on. Casually bring these up later in conversation, and if you score a first date, try to somehow incorporate a detail. She’ll be caught off guard that you remembered. She’ll feel special… unless you go overboard. Then she’ll feel stalked. Another thing: don’t get too comfortable around her. You may think that by getting that close to her, it’s strengthening your bond, but in reality, it’s just dragging you deeper and deeper into the dreaded Friend-Zone. You want to be her BF, not her BFF.
How to seal the deal?
Well, that depends on your preferred type of lady.
She’s the one, she’s the one you know you want. You… along with every other guy in the county. So how do you make yourself stand out? By not acting interested. She’s had dozens of guys all over her, flattering her to death and praising her body like she’s a goddess. Be cool and collected when you’re introduced to her, then focus your attention on someone else, maybe even one of her friends. Obviously, don’t make out with the girl, but definitely be complimenting her, flirt a little bit, get a little touchy-feely. As the night goes on, slowly shift your attention towards your preferred target. Don’t do the typical compliment-flirt-touch combo. Have a conversation, get to know her. As soon as she’s warmed up to you, ask her out. Definitely compliment her throughout the night, but always on her personality. She’s tired of hearing about how hot she is. It gets old.
Say you’ve already developed a strong friendship with a woman, and she loves it that way, but you want more. At a party or a club, hang out with her, and casually mention or point out other girls. She’ll immediately start seeing you as more boyfriend material and less… bro. It reminds her that her best bud is, in fact, a sexual being. Ask her out later that night, she’ll be surprised… probably surprised enough to say yes. When she does, the first date should be somewhere blatantly, obviously, no-way-in-hell-she’s-not-gonna-pick-up-on-it romantic, so there’s no confusion that this is, in fact, a date and that you are, in fact, interested. That should keep you safely out of the Friend-Zone.
What if she’s the quiet, cute one that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get to open up? This one will take some time, some calculated maneuvering. Engage in long, easy-going conversations, be patient with her. Eventually, once she’s opened up enough to you, and you’ve formed a connection, casually kiss her cheek when saying hello. She’ll hear the signal, loud and clear. For a date, take her to an art gallery, somewhere where both your eyes will be focused on the art and you have something interesting to discuss, so she doesn’t feel so pressured to talk about herself.
Well, it’s starting to look like the Sun Gods are on your side, after all. You’ve got everything you need to go get the woman of your dreams. Now that we’ve set the groundwork, and even given you suggestions for how to woo different types of ladies, you’ve got no excuses. Report back to us in a few weeks, and we better see some pics of you and your new woman. We bet you two will be very happy together. Go get her, boys.