Dating & Relationships Women

Sexologist Teaches Men How To Turn ‘Back To School’ Into ‘Back To The Bedroom’

Going back to school can be an exciting time, especially if it’s your first year at college, but that doesn’t make the reality of being somewhere new any less scary going in. Moving away from friends or homelife, and into the unknown is often what makes college such an important learning experience. In fact, it’s this risk factor that pays dividends in your journey; you’ll find yourself in new situations, making decisions and doing things you could only dream of achieving just this passing summer. To help you get prepared, Male Standard spoke with sexologist Dr. Kat to find out what you can do to improve your odds of dating success at college, and how to approach that someone special for a hot date. While your friends are there to support you, they’re in the same boat; Dr. Kat however comes pre-loaded with experience, and shines light on those burning questions you’re going to be asking.

How should college guys approach someone of interest?

“I’ll tell you the worst ways to approach someone is if you are drunk, surrounded by a pack of your male friends or begin the conversation with some lame pick up line. If you can, try to do it on neutral ground where you won’t feel judged by others and talk to her like a human being and not a conquest.” – Dr. Kat


What are the most common reasons college guys get rejected?

“Either they have behaved like an ass (see above) or have a less than stellar reputation with the fairer sex. Trust me, word gets around if you aren’t honest or don’t treat someone well.” – Dr. Kat


Should guys be open if they’re not looking for a commitment?

“Yes, please. Sometimes feelings still get hurt but at least you know you did your part by being honest.” – Dr. Kat


Is it okay to go to college for extracurricular sex-ed?

“Absolutely, as far as I am concerned it is part of the purpose of college. This is the time to figure out who you are, what you like and don’t like and to hone your communication skills when it comes to relationships and sex.” – Dr. Kat


How many dates should a guy wait before stating his intentions?

“I think it varies depending on the relationship. Everyone always talks about women and intuition but I believe men have it too. Sometimes it is early on when we know we want to be with someone, others we need more time. I will say that if you are picking up on clues from a girl that’s interested in you, it’s best to have a conversation sooner rather than later.” – Dr. Kat


What advice would you have for couples going to college?

“It can be either a period of growth and deepening for your relationship or you’ll get the information you need to choose not to continue the relationship. I do understand when people are in love, that they want to stay together but also realize too that some time apart can help you be a better relationship partner later on.” – Dr. Kat


Should you stay together if you go to different colleges?

“The odds are stacked against you. Long distance relationships are usually difficult whether it involves college or not. But I think in college there is added pressure to date around. Time apart to explore is not a bad thing.” – Dr. Kat


How can guys spruce up their dorms to make it more romantic?

“A general sense of cleanliness is always a good thing. But seriously, a little bit of effort goes a long way. Indirect lighting, music to give you a sense of privacy from other rooms and good sheets, never hurt either.” – Dr. Kat


What products can guys use to heighten the experience?

“Find a condom type and brand that you actually really like and make sure you always have it on hand. A little extra lube on the inside of the condom can increase sensation as well. Cock rings and vibrators can add a little bit of spice to your play. Just be sure to disinfect and use condoms on those as well. It’s easier to have a good time when you aren’t worried about catching (or spreading) something.” – Dr. Kat


What is your Male Standard? 

“To be confidant yet vulnerable, as well as honest and sincere. I believe that there is no reason sexuality and relationships can’t bring us great joy and help us be better people.” – Dr. Kat

About Dr. Kat Van Kirk


Dr. Kat Van Kirk is a sexologist, author, host and resident expert for Adam & Eve. She has a bachelor degree in Family Resources & Human Development from Arizona State University in addition to advanced degrees in Clinical Sexology and Marriage & Family Therapy. Find out more at


Adam & Eve is the nation’s leading Internet retailer having served over 10 million customers through its website and catalog, and thousands more through their retail stores. With a long-standing history having a “sex positive” motto, Adam & Eve products have been spicing up the bedroom and enticing lovers for over 40 years. Adam & Eve sells only the highest quality products for individuals and couples looking to indulge in a positive sexual experience. Find out more at

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