They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus – but when you get down to it, men and women aren’t so different. In truth, men are simpler than many women have been trained to believe.
At the end of the day, they want to feel loved, desired, and pleasured. Doesn’t sound so complicated, does it?
And while men come in all different shapes and sizes, have personal wants and desires, and possess unique personalities, we’ve zeroed in on some trends when it comes to what they happen to like in the bedroom. If you’d like to learn about what men want to see more of in between the sheets, read on as we walk you through our list of 9 top things men really want you to do in bed.
1. Be more vocal
Men love it when you’re vocal in the bedroom. But we don’t mean a whole 5-minute monologue – we’re talking dirty talk. Keep it short, not-so-sweet, and to the point. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be overly complex or thought out – it could be as simple as telling him exactly what you want him to do in that moment.
Your ability to take control and tell him how you’re feeling, what he’s doing right or what he could do to take you that one step further to toe-curling orgasm zone is a huge turn-on to men. At the end of the day, if you’re having a good time, so are they. They’re usually not as sensitive as you may think – most men are willing to learn what it takes to get you there, and all they need is those little bits of coaching in between. Trust us, being more vocal is as equally a gift to them as it is for yourself!
Men also love it when you ask them what it is they like and want. Their desires can change over time, and so to ensure you’re always having the best sex, you should try and keep that open dialogue between the two of you.
2. More doggy style
Doggy-style is a fan-favorite among both men and women, mainly for its ability to reach the coveted G-spot or P-spot more easily than in other positions. However, men happen to love it for another reason as well – there is something so primal and animalistic about the position. The mechanics of the position expresses raw, deep desire for one another, and explains why it’s one of the hardest positions for men to hold off orgasm.
3. Grab his ass
You know that feeling when he’s on top, and you grab his ass with both your hands, and pull him in deeper? Yeah, that. Men love that. It makes them feel wanted – so grab those cheeks and give them a good squeeze.
4. Turn him on with subtlety
Living in the digital age of social media, we are flooded with overly sexualized images daily. So, less exposure has made a comeback and has become the new sexy. Let your shirt hang off your shoulder, undo one extra button, wear sexy stockings under your dress and pull it up to show them to your man discreetly while you two are out in public…these subtle signs of sexiness are going to turn him on instantly, and will probably lead to some very steamy sex as soon as you two are alone.
5. More foreplay
This might sound like an obvious one but hear us out. Many women have the misconception that men love quickies, because they’re raw and steamy. However, while quickies are fun every once in a while, they’re by no means the ‘dream’. Men know how to use their hands to get off quickly if all they want is an orgasm. Most of the time, they enjoy sex for the overall experience, which includes all the foreplay.
According to a survey from The Big Book of Sex, men want foreplay to last at least 15 minutes, and women agree. Sure, many men may need some work on their foreplay game. That’s where your vocal skills come in, and you can explain or show them what it takes to get you off. And don’t forget to repay the favor – a blow job a day keeps the doctor away. And don’t be afraid to get fun with it! There are plenty of vibrators and blow job toys created to make foreplay more enjoyable for the both of you.
6. Keep the lights on
Men are visual creatures, and it’s no surprise that they love to watch you as they make love to you. When you create an environment that helps you feel confident and relaxed while having sex, this will turn your man on like crazy. Wear your favorite lingerie, light some candles, and most importantly, avoid turning the lights off completely, running naked from the bathroom to the bed and hiding under the sheets until it’s over.
Put those insecurities away, because he’s into you for everything that you are – every blemish, imperfection and flaw that you see, he doesn’t. He loves your body as is, and that’s incredibly important for you to remember in the bedroom. He’s the most turned on when you’re confident and enjoying yourself, and so are you. So why torture yourself with what is all in your head?
7. Initiate
One of the top male fantasies is having their partner initiate sex. It’s even better if they don’t see it coming, for example if you tell him mid-dinner date that you aren’t wearing panties, or if you surprise him by slipping into the shower with him before work.
By taking charge, you’re basically affirming your desire for him, and it makes him feel like sex isn’t just a chore for you, or something he needs to beg for. It shows him that you’re equally invested in doing the dirty, and makes the whole ordeal that much more pleasurable.
8. Be present
By ‘present’, we don’t mean just being there – that’s a given. Men love when sex feels interactive, as if it’s an event that you’re both attending, and living out your emotions to the fullest. They want to see what every touch, every thrust does to you. Are you enjoying it? Or are you thinking about the report you need to submit at work the next day?
Tune into your partner and let your instincts take over. Grab their hands, ruffle their hair, arch your back, moan when something feels good, tell them what you’re enjoying, grip the sheets, the headboard…there are so many ways you can show your partner that you’re there in that moment with them, and that there’s no place else you’d rather be. The sense of validation it gives makes men go wild for you in the bedroom.
9. Make your own pleasure a priority
The key to great sex is to make your own pleasure a priority, and men love that. At the end of the day, if you’re not enjoying yourself, it makes it a hell of a lot less enjoyable for them, too. Masturbate on your own to find out what you like, and express your desires in the bedroom by teaching your partner how to make you climax, instead of leaving him to fumble and fail on his own. Most importantly, get out of your head and have fun with it.
