Denial is an ugly thing. It’s also incredibly emasculating. Sometimes you just need a good kick in the pants or a bro friend to grab you and say, hey, snap out of it. This chick is less into you than Hitler was into Jews. Here then, are ten signs to look out for when wondering, “should I really pursue this?”
1. Unreturned Calls/Texts
Chicks are busy, especially if they’re independent, career-oriented or pursuing anything other than a sugar daddy. But at some point (and this does require judgment) you should expect a reasonable timely response to that message you left or that text you sent. The longer it takes for a response, the more indicative it is of where you stand on her priority hierarchy.
2. Averted Eyes
This is a no brainer and falls somewhere in line with The Waiting Game (see below). If you find yourself talking to a pair of eyes constantly darting around the room, she’s either looking for something else to entertain her or an extreme paranoid. In either case, it’s not good for you. Though she may be there with you physically, mentally and emotionally she’s exploring other options.
No healthy relationship ever came from violating a partner’s boundaries; just ask Chris Brown or Ike Turner. There’s an obvious line between playful jabbing and tearing you a new asshole, and if she doesn’t seem to know it, she probably doesn’t care to. She may actually be into you, but if she doesn’t know where that line begins you – actually may be better off without her.
4. Inequality in Compromise
It’s very rare to find a perfect 50/50 balance in a relationship, but the closer you can get the better it is for the relationship. If you’re bending over backwards to date someone or maintain a relationship, and they seem more like Humphrey Bogart not giving a damn, best to follow Ingrid Bergman’s lead and take off. If she knows early on that she’s has you hanging by a string, the responsibility falls on you to grab some scissors.
5. Secret Status (a.k.a. Won’t Introduce You to Friends or Family)
Unless you’re dating a superhero with a secret identity, at some point you should expect an introduction to her friends and/or family. They’re curious who she is spending her time with, and I am sure you’re curious what kind of people she identifies with. If this two lines don’t intersect, well, I think you have your answer.
6. You Always Pay
You might just be dating an old-fashioned girl who believes men should always pay, but in 2010 chances are you’re dating a hustling gold digger. Gold diggers are notorious for two things: getting money, and getting more money. Nowhere in that equation does love or emotion fit in.
7. The Waiting Game
If you find yourself constantly waiting around for her, whether it’s for her call, her text, her arrival or her mental presence while with you– not a good sign. You may just be a rebound, a crutch or a steppingstone until someone better comes along. Seemingly, she’s already looking.
8. Body Language
A lot of times guys are aloof to a female’s real, somewhat obvious feelings. Just because she said she’ll come along with you or she shrugged, “yeah, sure,” it’s no cause for celebration. Sure, it might open the door for a chance to win her over, but if she’s not really feeling you from the get-go, you’re gonna have to work twice as hard to charm an already uncharming first impression.
9. The Friend Hug
Never has such light contact hurt so bad. Usually marked by one arm, a turned angle or any type of “I-don’t-want-my-breasts-touching-you” type of body positioning. The Friend Hug is a clear sign that hey– you’re not boyfriend material, but you’re better than a diseased hobo. The only thing worse would be a handshake or a fist bump.
10. She Has a Boyfriend
This is not as obvious as it sounds. Many people end up hooking up with people who already have significant others, and what usually follows are tales of unhappiness in the relationship, prior intentions of breaking it off, etc., etc., etc., blah, blah, blah. The only thing that matters is if you’ve met a chick who’s got a boyfriend, and the two of you seem to hit it off. Just don’t ever forget the circumstance of how you met her, and how– history repeats itself, it may end.