Jealousy in relationships can be an effective ally, or a nuclear bomb that destroys your relationship. Here are some no’s, and suggestions to keep in mind if you want to use it to your advantage.
Don’t involve an ex. This is playing with fire and you will get burned. She’ll throw it in your face and always wonder if you really want to be with her, and/or if you are going to get back with her. She will not hear that this ex has offered you a compliment or come on and that you turned her down, only that you must want to get back with her, or worse you will.
Never use a co-worker. If you ever want to talk about work again without hearing some snide remark like: “Well, what did so and so say?” Then I strongly recommend against this one. She will question everything about her? How much time you spend with her? If she came onto you again and always wonder if you are with her when are working (even if she works in another department or location entirely). Though you are not technically eating crap where you work, to her its close enough.
Do not use one of her friends. I don’t think I need to explain this one. If you can’t figure it out, I can’t help you.
Effective Methods of Using Jealously:
- The random approach: Some girl approached you in a bar, came on to you and you politely declined indicating that you are in a happy monogamous relationship. (This will actually score you points in the freedom and trust department as well).
- If you are married: Nonchalantly mention how you were approached at a restaurant and some woman had walked up and approached you and your friends wherein you politely pointed to your wedding ring and smiled.
Jealously is a powerful tool. Used properly it can serve, as a reminder that we all want and need to feel wanted. Word to the wise: be careful how you use it, just as well as it can work, it can double in its damage.