Spanx. In a woman’s life that one word is a lifesaver in a world consumed with imperfections, lumps and bumps. You might be surprised to know what a fundamental staple it is in most women’s wardrobes. It smoothes, shapes and tricks the unsuspecting male eye. Sorry guys. It is unfortunate, but true nonetheless.
Imagine my surprise then when I got wind of the latest Spanx has to offer, Spanx for Men. I rubbed my eyes vigorously again and again thinking that they had betrayed me… Could such a thing exist, no it’s not possible. Men as worried about their lumps and bumps as women? Incomprehensible.
Ah, but alas, they were right, indeed Spanx has to a new undershirt line for men promising to change the way you men feel in an undershirt forever. Offering to firm your chest, flatten your stomach and even provide back support…. unbelievable but true.
So I considered it. Mulled over it and couldn’t quite decide if the genius that is Spanx had been betrayed by giving men a chance at women’s dirtiest little undergarment secret.
Which got me thinking… what is it like for you?
Hypothetically of course, you meet a chick in a bar and she wearing this hot mini dress that hugs her curves in a way that should be illegal. You spend the night fantasizing about how much better that dress is going to look on your floor and then bam the dream becomes a reality and you’ve managed to get her back to your place and low and behold the dress slips off and there she is in all her glory with underwear (by Spanx of course) up to her breasts neatly holding it all in place and as she peals it away the underwear vomit up what the Spanx has been so effortlessly hiding. What do you? Run? Have another drink or chalk it up to the brilliance that is Sara Blakely?
While contemplating this exact situation at a wedding I was talking to a friend whose husband is heavier set. She was mentioning the wonderfulness of Spanx and how it had provided the containment that her dress so needed and so I brought up the new Spanx male line.
Her response I was not prepared for… She thought it was amazing and even said that she would buy it for her husband thinking that it would help. Help whom… help the unsuspecting single ladies to whom he was not available? Her? Him?
To say that it shocked the shit out of me would be an understatement but all I could mutter out was “really?”
“Yes,” she replied in the affirmative. Huh? Maybe it is as genius as the rest of it.
So, to Spanx or not to Spanx that is the question. A question that I can whole heartily admit I do not have the answer to. I think that it is a choice, a choice that you have be prepared to deal with if the chick, wife, girlfriend in your life looks at you horrified due to your before and after shot, or the look she gives praising you for having figured out what we women have been blessed to utilize for many years now…. Spanx.