The hipster culture is growing across American society. Are you a hipster? If you are, you probably don’t know it. Hipsters don’t do labels. However, if you’ve ever found yourself wearing non-prescription glasses or skinny jeans or sporting a handlebar mustache, then you might be a hipster. Are you a hipster wannabe? Read on for some tips on how to become really trendy (but not trendy because hipsters are non-conformists…).
How to make yourself look like a hipster:
1. Don’t wash your hair.
Okay, maybe that was mean. Hipsters aren’t as gross as hippies- thus the distinctive label. However, in order not to please The Man, they do make an effort to keep their appearance slightly below average. Make sure your hair looks like you just got out of bed. Keeping a 5 o’clock shadow is also good idea. If you’re serious about this, there are razors you can buy specifically for maintaining the stubbly look. Then again, if you are a real hipster you don’t like to spend money on your appearance… so maybe that’s not the best idea.
2. Grow an olde tyme mustache.
Handlebar mustaches are coveted by hipsters for some odd reason. And we’re talking 1920’s circus ring leader handlebar mustache. Like, the type of thing you see in paintings and movies that you aren’t sure really ever existed in real life. But they do. People actually wear them now. Only the extreme hipsters wear them, though, so this one isn’t a necessity.
3. Lose your manly edge.
Hipsters are androgynous. If you want to be one you’re going to need to lose the musky cologne, wear clothes that are way too tight (and are possibly even purchased in the women’s section). Grow your hair out too. I know I just told you to get a mustache in the last section. Facial hair isn’t included in the androgyny, though, for some reason.
4. Get some exercise. And while you’re at it, only shop at Whole Foods. Scratch that. Trader Joe’s.
Hipsters are skinny. Gotta keep in shape so your legs look good in those skinny jeans. Also, since you’re probably really concerned about the environment, you might want to sell your car in favor of a bike. Or at least get a hybrid. You also are going to want to eat organic. But don’t shop at Whole Foods. They sell genetically engineered crops now! For shame.