The foundation of any Nemesis is a unique rivalry between two equally matched people who fight for the same or opposing goals. It is not to be confused with a Frenemy, who is an enemy disguised as a friend. Nemesis are often friends, or at least deeply linked to one another in a lasting way, such as with Magneto and Charles Xavier in X-Men, but are unique in that they bring out clashing characteristics in one another.
Maybe your Nemesis is your brother, friend, or someone in your social circle. They might be the guy who you tie for grades with at school, or who goes back and forth with you over promotions at work. Whoever this person is you might identify them as being arrogant, antagonizing or that they stir up the green eyed monster in you. But if you look deeper, you might be surprised to find that they feel the same way about you.
This is because at the root of any Nemesis relationship, there is a power-struggle; two equally matched forces are pushing one another to their limits. In order to overcome this battle, you must be willing to defeat your Nemesis once and for all. Otherwise, you will never see beyond the conflicting comparisons.
Identifying Your Nemesis
In order to foil your Nemesis, you must be able to identify what it is about them that stirs a response in you. Is it their good looks, their smarts, their accomplishments, or ability to shine? Like Batman and Joker, every Nemesis is different, and not all are pretty. However, if you identify that weakness, you can transform it into one of your greatest assets – a power that will defeat the biggest obstacle in your way, an arch-Nemesis.
Where a Nemesis is someone who has the potential to help you accomplish greatness, an arch-Nemesis uses that power struggle to try to bring you down. The longer you let them battle with you, the less time you will spend on accomplishing your own goals. You may become obsessed with trying to outsmart them, or fail to see what makes you shine, causing you to miss out on other opportunities.
Consider the following when sizing up your competition:
- Are they equal or better at something than you?
- What can you do to improve that area of your life?
- Why is that skill so important to you – can you accept failure?
If the answer is no, you cannot accept failure, then it’s time to take action! The secret to overcoming our Nemesis is really very simple, and here it is: you must remove their power by pouring your time and energy into making who you are stronger, not them. When you build yourself up, you take away the element of weakness, and find an incredible motivator called pride that will steer you in a new life direction.
Foiling Your Nemesis
Now that you have identified your Nemesis and see what traits or skills they have, it’s easy to make changes. Each person will have a different action plan, as we have our own Nemesis, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all benefit from these tips. Simply customized the action depending on what you want to accomplish and remember to keep the desire not to fail at the forefront of your mind – you can achieve greatness!
- Upgrade Your Skills: If your Nemesis has a skill that you wish to possess, take a class or invest time in improving that skill – use your energy to boost your skills, not envy someone else’s.
- Refocus Your Energy: If you spend a lot of time feuding with your Nemesis, create other outlets in your life that make better use of your energy, such as a new hobby or date night.
- Praise Your Successes: If you measure your successes against a Nemesis you will never break the bond holding you back. You must consciously find ways to praise your successes for you – no one else.
When you take actions to put your skills and accomplishments first, you will no longer find yourself looking for approval from your Nemesis. This is completely liberating, and is surprisingly easy to achieve. The fact that you have a Nemesis shows that you have the determination and passion to reach the next level and become your own Superhero!
Leave a comment and let us know if you plan to use this advice to foil your nemesis – we love to hear from you at Male Standard!