Take Our Bad Ass Quiz

Choose your best answer and tally your points:

1.) In my life, I have saved ____lives

A) 0 (0 pts.)

B) 1 (5 pts.)

C) 2 (10 pts.)

D) 3 or more (20 pts.)

2.) In my DVD collection, you will find a copy of:

A) The Notebook (0 pts.)

B) Predator (10 pts.)

C) Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist (0 pts.)

D) Over the Hedge (0 pts.)

3.) I work, or have worked as a:

A) Firefighter (10 pts.)

B) Ballerina Instructor (0 pts.)

C) Juvenile Detention Officer (5 pts.)

D) I have never worked (0 pts.)

4.) My maximum bench press is:

A) 100 lbs. (5 pts.)

B) 200 lbs. (5 pts.)

C) Over 200 lbs. (10 pts.)

D) I do Pilates (0 pts.)

5.) In my life, I have gotten into fistfights:

A) Never (0 pts.)

B) 1 time (5 pts.)

C) 2 times (5 pts.)

D) 3 or more times (10 pts.)

6.) Of all my fights, I won:

A) All of them (10 pts.)

B) None of them (0 pts.)

C) Half of them (5 pts.)

D) By fighting dirty (0 pts.)

7.) My favorite color is:

A) Black (10 pts.)

B) White (5 pts.)

C) Blue (5 pts.)

D) Chartreuse (0 pts.)

8.) In my music collection, you will find:

A) Johnny Cash (10 pts.)

B) Justin Bieber (0 pts.)

C) Stone Temple Pilots (5 pts.)

D) Soundtrack to Grease (-5 pts.)

9.) In the club, you will find me dancing:

A) Never (10 pts.)

B) Every chance I get (0 pts.)

C) When a female makes me (5 pts.)

D) On a pole, in a cage or atop the bar (-5 pts)

10.) My drink of choice consists of:

A) Straight shots (10 pts.)

B) A mixed cocktail containing a low-calorie, organic fruit blend (-5 pts.)

C) Beer (5 pts.)

D) I don’t drink (0 pts.)

11.) My favorite foods include:

A) Hamburgers (10 pts.)

B) Tofu (0 pts.)

C) Chocolate-covered strawberries (-5 pts.)

D) I’m on a diet. I don’t eat. (0 pts.)

12.) If I start to go bald, I will fashion:

A) A comb-over (0 pts.)

B) A shaved head (10 pts.)

C) A toupee (0 pts.)

D) Wild ‘n crazy hats! (0 pts.)

13.) My opinion of casual sex is:

A) Have at it (10 pts.)

B) Hard to come by, but not for lack of trying (5 pts.)

C) Ok, responsibly (0 pts.)

D) Gross. I’m not a slut. (-5 pts.)

14.) I am, or was once a member of:

A) The military (10 pts.)

B) A gang (5 pts.)

C) My church choir (0 pts.)

D) Netflix (0 pts.)

15.) I have gotten a manicure:

A) Never in my life (10 pts.)

B) Once (5 pts.)

C) Two or more times (0 pts.)

D) Done so poorly I will never go back there again but don’t worry, I found a better place and get this– they’re even cheaper! (-5 pts)

16.) I would find it acceptable to get a massage from another man if:

A) The spa is out of female masseuses (0 pts.)

B) I am on ecstasy (0 pts.)

C) He is a physical therapist (5 pts.)

D) Never (10 pts.)

17.) I often engage in:

A) Sports (5 pts.)

B) Flirting with women (5 pts.)

C) Hand-to-hand combat (10 pts.)

D) Competitive knitting (0 pts.)

18.) The last time I wrote poetry:

A) Was for a school assignment (5 pts.)

B) I was a teenager (0 pts.)

C) Is never (10 pts.)

D) Was after I saw Bella choose Edward. Poor Jacob! (-5 pts.)

19.) If I were cast in an action movie, I would want to play:

A) The Hero (10 pts.)

B) The Villain (5 pts.)

C) The Sidekick (0 pts.)

D) The Love Interest (0 pts.)

20.) I like to read:

A) Romance novels (0 pts.)

B) Spy novels (5 pts.)

C) I don’t read (10 pts.)

D) Only when on the toilet (5 pts.)

21.) I take baths:

A) To relax (0 pts.)

B) Because I’m injured (5 pts.)

C) Never (10 pts.)

D) In soy milk (-5 pts.)

22.) I talk a lot:

A) About my prowess (0 pts.)

B) About my kids (0 pts.)

C) Never (10 pts.)

D) Only in a church confessional (5 pts.)

23.) My favorite sport is:

A) Basketball (5 pts.)

B) Football (10 pts.)

C) Baseball (5 pts.)

D) Synchronized swimming (0 pts.)

24.) I feel like I have to prove I am badass.

A) Never (10 pts.)

B) Always (0 pts.)

C) Sometimes (5 pts.)

D) To children and/or the weak (-5 pts.)

25.) I have ___ tattoos.

A) No (0 pts.)

B) 1 or 2 (5 pts.)

C) 3 or more (10 pts.)


26.) I am or was in prison:

A) Never (0 pts.)

B) For more than a month (5 pts.)

C) For unpaid parking tickets (0 pts.)

D) Right now (10 pts.)

27.) I have worn a dress:

A) Because my sister or relative made me (5 pts.)

B) For Halloween (0 pts.)

C) As a disguise (10 pts.)

D) That matches my earrings (-5 pts.)

28.) I smoke:

A) Cigarettes (5 pts.)

B) Cigars (10 pts.)

C) Nothing (0 pts.)

D) Crack-cocaine (-5 pts.)

29.) I love:

A) My mother (5 pts.)

B) My sister (5 pts.)

C) My wife/girlfriend (5 pts.)

D) Other peoples’ mothers, sisters, wives, and girlfriends (10 pts.)

30.) I have killed:

A) People who deserved it (10 pts.)

B) No one (0 pts.)

C) An audience, telling jokes (0 pts.)

D) A whole bottle of Aveeno Anti-Bacterial Moisturizer in one day (-5 pts.)

Total Point Rating:

60 – 50: You’re close to a bad ass, but instead of a ‘b’ with an ‘s’


55 – 150: You’re like Don Knotts, but with less testosterone.


155 – 285: Average, but you have your moments.


290 – 310: Jason Statham would follow your Tweets.

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