It happens once a year, the day after Thanksgiving, or in our “I want it now” society, the night of Thanksgiving. Why should people spend time with their family members (who they probably don’t like anyway) when they could run out and get trampled on by people looking to get the best price on an Elmo doll? In 2008, a crowd of approximately 2,000 shoppers waiting outside a Walmart in Valley Stream, NY trampled a 34-year old employee to death, with no shoppers offering to help. Talk about some crappy holiday spirit. You think it’s just the people who experience my diagnosis, yet to be picked up by the DSMV-IV of “Black Friday psychosis?” Retailers pound on the Black Friday trail even harder. If you Google Amazon Black Friday 2013, you’ll be sent to a page on Amazon that tells me that Black Friday will be here in 24 days: 14 hours, and some odd minutes and seconds as I write this. I haven’t even binged and purged all my Halloween candy.
When it comes to the sexes though, all my female friends: the sisters, aunts, girlfriends, fiancées, mothers, and grandmothers insist each year on lining up outside of Target, Walmart, and Macys if they’re really ambitious and balk at Cyber Monday, while their male counterparts are more apt to want to stay home. Unless of course, they don’t want to get a divorce…or there’s a sale on electronics. Nothing gets a guy to stand at attention more than a flat screen television…on sale. Besides a naked woman. In 2006, a man was caught on video violently assaulting another shopper. I wonder what made his testosterone strike so high? Was it an HDTV? Televisions, cameras, and more are just some of the great sales that happens each Black Friday. I tell my girlfriends all the time: if you want to pick up a dude, go to BestBuy on Black Friday. Chances they’ll have their pick of the litter, if they like angry men salivating over televisions. Of course, not every guy is running in his sweatpants to get the best deal on an LG flat screen.
Most men are smart; according to a Gallup poll in 2012, 81% of men said, “Heck no, we won’t be shopping on Black Friday.” Are men smarter or just lazier? The verdict is still out, but here are my tips for men who are gaga over the best electronics deals, yet unwilling to sacrifice the family jewels or their lives to get an awesome television on Black Friday.
Cyber Monday
If you wait until Cyber Monday, stock might be low or null for your favorite must-have gadget deal, but more retailers are embarking with special deals for this new yearly shopping day. This means snagging some deals online without having to bust your balls the day after Turkeyapocalypse. Food comas create serious hangovers.
Fetch!
Does your girlfriend truly believe she will get a better deal on skimpy panties at Victoria’s Secret on Black Friday? Does your wife feel your kid must have the “it” toy this holiday? Ask her to play fetch; if she goes to BestBuy to snatch your latest toy, it’s certain some young employee will help schlep it out to the car for her. She may never ask for a day shopping again, which is good for your wallet.
Online Haven
If you want the latest and greatest and believe that Black Friday is going to have the best deals, buy online that day from the comfort of your couch while you reheat stuffing and watch football.
Final Tip: Battle of the Sexes
Don’t be a putz. You know your broad is going to nag you about the money you’re about to drop on your extra-awesome, best television to date. You know, because buying five million lip-glosses from Sephora is also cost-efficient. Sell your old electronics to fund your newest prize. Sites like usell.com are a great place to unload your used gadgets. You’ll get a free quote on whatever it is you’re trying to unload. Within about sixty seconds, you’ll also get offers from professional buyers looking to buy back your devices. An iPad 4th generation commands up to $257. A Samsung Galaxy S 4? Up to $260. Your iPhone 5? $270. Not too shabby of a down payment for that high-tech camera. Best of all, the site relates to your male senses: it’s simple, fast, and to the point.
The Lesson to be Learned?
You can indulge in your electronics fetish without pulverizing someone’s face or pissing off your ladyfriend. Enjoy your new toy, and get back to slacking on your holiday shopping. We know how you love to procrastinate.
About uSell
uSell has helped customers earn over $11 million for selling back their used phones. Because we believe in doing good for the environment, we’re proud to say that we’ve kept over 170,000 cell phones out of landfills. Today, people are savvy about their electronics. They either want to upgrade to the latest and greatest gadgets fast or give their old devices a second life. We’ve created a marketplace around those two desires. In just three easy steps, our customers can connect with over 50 professional buyers to get instant cash offers, hassle free. uSell is transforming recommerce one cell phone at a time.
For more information, please visit http://www.usell.com/
