Going through a divorce or ending a long-term dating relationship can be rough. It leaves many people apprehensive about getting back into the dating world. Whether you decide to go with online dating, matchmaking, or hitting the clubs, the first and most important question to ask yourself is: Am I ready to start dating?
Ask yourself these questions:
- In general conversation, do I still refer to her as my wife, girlfriend, rather than my “ex?”
- Can I discuss the end of my relationship with friends and family without breaking out in tears or falling into cursing fits of rage?
- Does the thought of kissing someone new fill me with dread or cause me to break out in a cold sweat?
If you answered YES, or even SOMETIMES to the questions above, then you might not be ready to begin dating just yet. Give yourself some time before opening up the next chapter in your life.
If you answered NO and you have at least an inkling of what you’re looking for in your next relationship, then by all means, jump into the dating pool. One way of dipping your toes in is through online dating. There are so many sites available, from the big names that are advertised on TV and radio right down to the niche sites especially made for your unique interests.
Astroglide presents ten tips for individuals who want to give online dating a try:
Create a dating profile on one site first
For the Toe-Dippers, don’t worry about putting anything more than a recent picture into your profile – just cruise around and visit profiles of people that interest you. It will help give you an idea of what you may want to write for your own profile. For the Pool-Divers, you may be inclined to set up a profile on several sites, but restrain yourself… try one at first and see what types of responses you gather. If, after a couple of weeks you don’t find anyone interesting to chat with, then add another site or two. Just remember, the more that you are on any one dating site, the higher up in the dating queue you end up. If you barely visit a site, then your profile doesn’t get seen as much.
Write a profile that is enthusiastic and positive
Focus on your hobbies and likes and present your very best side. Avoid language or topics that mention your ex at all.
Research before you date?
There is a lot of personal information available online and you never know if your potential date could be a stalker. Be safe and start off with a dating alias and corresponding email. It should be obvious that it’s dating alias, like “CutiePie” and firstname.lastname@example.org. Once you feel safe enough and have determined mutual interest and chemistry, go ahead and reveal your real name. Then use Google, Facebook, and LinkedIn to learn more about each other and to spot common interests and any red flags.
Leave out any details about past relationships that went sour
You don’t want to seem to be someone that is disillusioned with the prospect of finding love.
Most dating sites simply ask: Single, Separated, Widowed or Divorced. There is no need to add, “newly” to any of those categories as some might consider this to be a reason to move on from your profile. If necessary, that can be discussed in one-on-one communications.
Request video chats
You can’t judge people by their own profile pictures. They might be a shot from 1999 or make liberal use of Photoshop. A quick video chat using FaceTime or Skype can help both sides see if there is a spark.
Avoid controversial topics in your profile
There shouldn’t be discussions of politics or money (especially how much money you make or expect a certain mate to make). Money is especially important to avoid – for men, you wouldn’t want to think that your potential mate is a Gold-Digger and for women, you wouldn’t want to be anyone’s Sugar Mama, right? Those kinds of topics should be avoided for a long time.
Don’t copy other dating profiles
You want to make sure you appear as a genuine person who has lived an interesting life and does not simply follow the likes/interests of others. Many sites offer help (for a fee) where you can work with a counselor on putting together an eye-catching profile. And we’re sure that you have friends that would be willing to help you put one together – just be sure to thank them with a meal or drinks. “Thanks” doesn’t mean they need or should be privy to every potential date.
Be clear about what you’re looking for
Most dating sites have options that look like: new friends, casual dating, serious dating, looking for life mate. Be sure to check one of those options so that you can minimize getting hurt by someone looking for a fling or hurting someone else because you’re not ready to be in a serious relationship.
Divorce or the end of a relationship does not mean you can’t jump back into the dating pool and enjoy spending time with the opposite sex. To learn why Astroglide should be included in your bedroom when casual dates become serious, visit www.astroglide.com. For more great tips on how to enjoy your time with someone special, visit Astroglide’s Twitter feed.
Astroglide products are developed and distributed by BioFilm, Inc., a privately held manufacturer of high quality healthcare products. BioFilm continually researches consumer needs and develops innovative products to meet and exceed those requirements. The company’s flagship product, Astroglide Personal Lubricant, is one of the world’s top selling personal lubricants. Founded in 1991, Astroglide is headquartered in Vista, CA. All BioFilm products are produced on-site in its Vistamanufacturing facility under FDA guidelines and strict in-house quality procedures. BioFilm’s number one priority is to provide its customers with the highest quality products possible.
For more information visit www.astroglide.com.