birddogs just ripped my thighs off the hinges with their latest pants.

I would wear sweatpants every day. I tried. It was called sophomore year. I wish birddogs sweatpants came out a decade ago. I’d certainly be more experienced as a lover.

I look incredible. I chalk it up to the fit.

You can now officially wear sweatpants out of the house. Wipe off that Cheeto dust and grab the zinc-oxide – it’s time for this pasty skin to get some daylight.

They’ve got 5 indistinguishable hues of gray. Unreal.