Everyone knows it’s ill advised, but let’s get real– guys don’t give a crap. Human Resources is right though; it’s really not something you should do. Here are ten reasons why you shouldn’t sh*t where you eat.
10. That Fast-Aging Disease
Because the average person spends 40 to 60 hours a week working, with about 48 hours off (if you don’t sleep!), maintaining a relationship with a co-worker greatly exacerbates the time spent together. Spending three weeks with a co-worker/girlfriend is like being together for three months. Spending three months with a co-worker/girlfriend is like being together for a year. Being together for a year is like a silver anniversary, only without the presents and celebration.
9. The Daily Point-and-Giggles
Got an embarrassing secret you’d never tell anyone but a trusted lover? Well, that’s what a girlfriend is, bub, and if she becomes an ugly ex, best prepare for the whole office to know by lunch on Tuesday.
8. The Tie You Can’t Loosen
Spending that much time together cannot only feel claustrophobic; it can make that twelfth-story window start to look like a pretty good exit. There’s a reason humans aren’t all born as Siamese twins – everyone needs some alone time.
7. Work Starts to Define Your Relationship
Suddenly, that report you did last Thursday becomes the basis of whether your girlfriend sees you as a man. Reprimanded or demoted at work? Forget it pal, even at home you’re now just a paperboy.
6. “So What Were You Guys Talking About?”
Suddenly, it’s no longer an innocent question but a demand for the truth when you, or your co-worker girlfriend, are seen chatting it up with another hot co-worker.
5. Now She’s Always On Top
Dating a co-worker? Eventually marriage? Guess what? She just got that promotion and now she’s your boss! You can handle taking orders from her at work, but why is she now always smirking down at you during sex and calling you “boy?”
4. “I Am Being Professional! Why Aren’t You?!?”
A heated, unresolved argument at home will rear its ugly head at the workplace, until eventually one of you is asking why and the other is blurting out this response… a few decibels too loud.
3. The Hot New Receptionist
You’ve legitimately found someone you connect with better, find more attractive, and are intensely more interested in only a few weeks after committing to your co-worker girlfriend! Congratulations! You’ve just entered psychological hell!
2. The Hot New Supervisor
She’s legitimately found someone she connects with better, finds more attractive, and can get her a raise and a parking spot! Congratulations! You’ve just been used more dirtily than the office microwave!
1. Two Birds, One Stone
Worst case and quite possible scenario: the end of your relationship results in the end of your job (or vice versa). The triple crown of F-dom: you’ve F’ed yourself, you’ve F’ed her, and you’ve F’ed your job. There is nothing worse than the feeling of losing your job and your relationship at the same time, unless you get home to find your dog has hung himself. Apparently even he knew you were trouble.
